changing my ways

There are a lo of things that people don't know about me, alot of things that I do that I don't share with people...I have nothing to hide yet I hide everything..I am ashamed of nothing I have done in my life but I refuse to talk about the past... I know that I may not be perfect but I guess I try so hard to be... sometimes I look back on my life and think "how could you" there are things in my life that I have buried for so long..there are things that I hate to talk about because I feel like i have shamed myself and God...But here is the thing...I am trying out honesty for a change for myself and well for myself...I am tired of feeling the pain and shame I feel...Im sorry God for all my mistakes and all my sins I know that I cant change what I have done but I hope I can do better and act better I hope that I stop playing these games with myself and just allow you to work all through me and to stop caring about what others think of me... I hope that my past can be used as my tesimony and you can use me as your tool to help all of those girls that are doing what I have done I hope that my actions can show women what not to do... overall Lord I am sorry for my actions....